looking beyond the hills to the bright core I rise and began to stare
giving me bright colors and maintaining my dark red flare
my love I express to you is like the sun's hot burnished light
getting hypnotized, I began to stare at this great loving sight
hearing the mummers and the wind, swishing the trees
colorful flowers picked up and afloat with the soft clean breeze
and when you have a sad day and your tears begin to fall
I stop to what I do and extend my roots and absorb them all
then when your last tear is poured smashing the ground
my sweet nectar calls the bees giving you that soft humming sound
then when you give me the moon to survive the day
my soft sweet Lillie's began to drop and fade
falling apart close to death I try to wait for your face
trying everything to survive I remember your great giving tastes
then when my time is close to the end I start to feel your bright hot rays
feeling weak and heart broken I look and begin to gaze
lifting away my emotional feelings I begin to replenish my sweet leaves
then my color fades back and there are my soft lilies
and now looking in reality I say
I am your red rose of love forever
By: Scott Thomas II
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Yo blood, I read the exerpts you have posted here. You have some raw talent, and should continue writing. I'd suggest dropping the rhyming scheme now and again, even if just as an exercize to expand your sense of imagery, without constraint and thesaurus hunting.
ReplyDeleteYour sense of flow in your poetry is good. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Sincerely,
Osiris0